It's you not me

Saturday, October 29, 2011

I watched this seemingly uncomfortable interview with Alexis Stewart on the Today show and had mixed feelings about one of the topics they discussed. Apparently she and her business partner Jennifer, "broke up" from doing their tv show as well as their radio show, Whatever with Alexis and Jennifer,
and have ended their friendship.

This was clearly an "It's you, it's not me" thing because in a nutshell, the friendship wasn't working for Alexis so she ended it. Jennifer said she would love to still have that relationship but she understands Alexis so it was ok, she was ok. I mean, if she had wanted Jennifer as a friend, she would have kept nourishing the friendship. Plain and simple. At one point Alexis mentioned that some people are "clingy." Which is why I never agree with the old, "It's not you, it's me" thing at any time.

At first I thought it was kind of a selfish thing to do but then thought better of it. Just as in a dating situation where the relationship isn't working for you, no one expects you to stay in the relationship any longer, especially if you're not happy, right? You end it and move on. It's kind of the same if you relate it to your career or any other activities.

So what makes a friendship any different? Is it different? Should you not worry about how you feel and think about what the friend needs? Or is that selfishness on the other's part by not recognizing that they may be causing the other to feel smothered?

I think it's an interesting subject. Thoughts?


  1. Hard to say from watching that.. but alexis has always seemed like a cold person... I read a book on Martha years ago that wasn't flattering and it must have been hard to have her as a mother. I have had girl friendships end... some fade, some very painful. Thanks for sharing this clip. I'm putting that book on my list!

  2. I think that there is often a natural progression of friendships. Some end, others do not. I think it is fair to say that you might want to distance yourself from a person who becomes toxic to you and there is nothing wrong with that. When a relationship becomes damaging there is no reason to hang on to it, in my opinion. Family relationships are different so that isn't a blanket statement.

  3. I'm with Carrie, if a friendship becomes toxic, sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away from it. I don't think it's an easy/comfortable thing to do though.


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