Carolyn Joyce Montgomery

I remember the first time I met my mother-in-law. She was far from being that to me since I was just the high school girlfriend of her youngest son. Jon invited me to his house for dinner and then we played Trivial Pursuit with his parents. I liked her voice right away. It was soft with a slight southern drawl. It wasn't harsh only subtle. She spoke slowly, carefully. She said it was "delaht-ful" to meet me. I liked the way she said it. I like the goodness that emanated from her voice. Its sound forever echoed in my mind.

It wasn't until years later that I saw her again. Jon brought me back to the old house to see everyone and this time we played Chickenfoot. She was still kind and soft spoken but now I was going to have years to see her true goodness, dedication to her church and God, devotion to her husband, love for her grandkids and quick wit. She was truly a lovely and talented woman.

Once when we were visiting she was knee-deep in piles of jeans. She held up a patchwork of denim that was to be the covering of the quilt on which she was working. She had organized a jean drive so she and some other ladies could make quilts for the needy. She wanted something durable yet soft so it would not wear out so quickly. She was always thinking this way, wanting the best for people. Smiling, she said she only had 10 more to go.

Her deterioration over the past few months have been quick. But before her body and mind succumbed to disease, we made a trip to see her. There were moments of lucidity on our visits, just enough time for her to recognize Jon and tell him what a good baby he was and that she was so happy he was there. I was touched by that sentiment and it summed it all up for me at that moment - what really mattered. And while our hearts are heavy at her passing today, we are thankful that her mind and body are at peace and that her parents will be so happy she is there, with them in heaven.

Remembering

Ties that bind

Today I should be on a train bound for Philadelphia but last night's snowstorm has virtually shut down the city. I wanted to be with my cousins to say good-bye to our Uncle Gary today. He passed away last week after a long and successful life.

It seems my emotions are on the surface a little. The cold weather brings back memories of January's past where I stood and said good-bye to my parents as eternity opened its doors.

I know how my cousins and their families are feeling right now so I wanted to be there in support. One of the most comforting feelings I ever felt during both of my parent's funerals was sitting near the podium of the chapel and looking out over all those who came to pay respects.

There were people that I had not seen in years. But upon sight, their faces brought back good memories and our eyes teared with gratitude knowing they took time out of their day to support us. You do gain much strength from others that way. Connections like that are so important - to me anyway.

Yesterday on Facebook I posted the above photo of my Uncle Gary for my family to see. It's one of my favorites of my grandparents and my dad (standing in front of Gary) his sister Janet and another brother Dennis. Many of my cousins on Facebook commented on it and laughed about who looked like whom. Some had never seen that photo of their parents and our grandparents before.

My cousin Michael, Janet's son, posted the comment, "More please."

I realized that his connection to the past through a simple photograph was just as important to him as it was me. So today while we are snowed in, I'll gather pictures for Michael, think about my family, have fun on a snow day and sip hot chocolate with mine and be so thankful for the ties that bind.

A moment

to reflect

on a day that changed everything.