Although I've mentioned working at our local fair, I wanted to touch on another aspect before I move on to house projects. (Those are a coming! I have furniture outside right now to work on.)

Last week was a long work week which piled on top of another. But truly, my favorite aspect of every job I have had, is finding more out about people, their lives and stories and what got them to whatever point they are in their lives, except for the time I worked on a government health study through UCLA for the state of CA.

In that job I spoke with a large cross section of people from movie producers to welfare recipients to the elderly and average working citizens and college students. In particular I remember a young, disabled couple who, when I spoke with them, I had to yell because the 5 o'clock train sounded as if it were coming right through their living room and made it feel as if the house were going to fall from the shake. We had to wait for the train to go by to resume our conversation.

The movie producer's mansion could have housed many large families without ever running into each other whereas the disabled couple had barely enough room in the home to use their wheelchairs freely. I was depressed after talking with them that night. I was always getting in trouble with my boss because I was supposed to stay clinical and distant to keep the study unbiased but I just couldn't do that.

My nature is to listen and when prompted, offer advice and hope. I'm not a black & white, yes or no type so hearing their plight and having to remain silent was torture. Mostly because I could do nothing, not even say "I'm so sorry." It was especially hard when some sounded lonely and wanted to talk. Although I couldn't engage, I did so anyway, very subtly but because the conversations were recorded I still got the "talking to" later. It was worth it though and I still stand by my opinion that people who trust you to be non-judgmental will open up but the researchers say that people who trust you don't want to disappoint so they will give false answers. Who knows.

What I do know is that everyone has a story to tell and everyone has something important to offer. I have written about that many times but it is a topic that I like to explore over and over. Some may require more patience of me it is true, but their offerings are there.

This week was no different in a way. Some of those interesting and colorful people I met had it more difficult than others and were just enjoying a day out at a simple community fair. Some were happy-go-lucky and came back just to chat so we did and rested our tired feet on the foot massagers.

About two months ago I was hired to be a PR/marketing director for a Chiropractic office, which is who I worked for at the fair. I still have my own business which I am growing but this job, being 95% from home, was too good to pass up.
My mission is to get the Doctor speaking engagements, help build the practice within the community, get people to pay more attention to their spinal health and thereby increase revenue.

But through that I get to do the one thing I like more than anything, convert a stranger to a friend.

Success and The Keys

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I taught the young women ages 12-18 at church about the ability to succeed and the keys to our success. Our discussion led us to finding out why we are so quick to underrate ourselves and why our attitudes about ourselves can hinder that success. Why, when someone compliments us, do we feel the need to reply with a negative remark? Why can't we just say, "thank you." It's not vain to accept a compliment and think to yourself, "I do look good today!" After all, we believe we were born in the image of God. Don't you think He did good work??

I also asked to whom they spoke with on a regular basis. One girl said, "Ourselves"

Everyone giggled.

I told her she was absolutely correct. Our internal dialogue is going on all day long. I know when I am working around the house and make a mistake, I'll say to myself, "That was a bonehead move, Laura." "Way to go, exlax." or "nice job, dufus."

They giggled again.

But it's true. We talk to ourselves (maybe you don't) or think about things all day long. The more you fill your mind with negative thoughts about yourself, the more you are limiting your success.

Doubt, insecurity, or fear of failure creep in and poof! there goes some of our talents that could have been and who knows what successes you could have had with those.

We do have to acknowledge our weaknesses so we can try to make them strong. And if there are things that we perceive as weaknesses which cannot be changed like foot size, height or even material wants (Hey, who wouldn't like a 2009 Mercedes SL65 AMG 604 HP Biturbo v-12 engine with 19 inch alloys??) then we need to let it go and focus our energies on what we can change. So, while I do like my narrow foot size, I know I'll never be 5'10" and I've given up on that car dream...for now.

Now I know that training your mind to develop a positive attitude isn't easy.

For some it is a constant struggle. I would never reduce to triviality the effects of depression on one's mind. I would never tell a person with depression to just get over it, have faith and you'll be healed. I think mood disorders are just as real as diabetes or cancer and should be treated just as aggressively. So for those whose struggles include depression, I understand that simplistic solutions for you may cause a spiritual isolation. Mood disorders are very real and should be dealt with professionally and with sensitivity.

I wanted the girls to see that success can happen and even at their young age, they can come to know this.

And there are keys to success.

We discussed these keys and I told them that they had the power, together with faith to do anything that they wanted. It was up to them to go for it.

When they know who they really are, they are better able to rely on their own strength and not be defined by what others think of them. They can also differentiate by what is real and what advertisers want to make them think is real. I told them not to wait until they are 30 to figure it out. It's okay to know this now. It's okay to study this out in their mind and try new things and be leaders now. I said that when they hang back, hoping for other people to speak up, all those others are waiting for someone to speak up too.

I guaranteed it.

Some of the best leaders in this country are the ones who had an idea and wanted to affect change somewhere and didn't let anyone hold them back.

Brother Raleigh, in a beautiful testimony, said there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his children. I reminded them of that and asked them to imagine their Heavenly Father saying that.

He did.

It is called The Atonement.

And no one want us to succeed in life more than Heavenly Father.

I swear I saw light bulbs over each of their lovely heads.

And I hope they saw a heart over mine. Because I love them.

Saturday, in preparation for the lesson, I went to the flea market and gathered all kinds of vintage skeleton keys. You know I love vintage and it doesn't take much arm twisting to get me to go to the flea! I tied each key with ribbon and gave one to each girl as a reminder that they hold the keys to their success.

The keys were all different shapes and sizes. All very sculptural and beautiful.

Each opens a door somewhere.

It's just up to us to find that door.

Thank heaven for friends, family and a loving God to cheer us on in our search.