I remember one time when I was asked at a church gathering of women about my goals, I replied that I didn't really have any. The lady who asked me was the Sunday School teacher and the next morning while she was teaching she referenced how she was speaking to someone and they said they made no goals. {Ahem, that would've been ME!}

She went on to say how she thought this was the dumbest thing she had heard and never knew people existed that had no goals. I remember she was shaking her head, saying she just "couldn't understand it!"

She must have forgotten that I was in her class as I sat there and recounted this small conversation.
I wanted to hit her.
I didn't. It took all my strength not to go up and ask her about that remark but
I just rolled my eyes to myself and took delight in the fact that she was having a bad hair day.

Well, I do have goals. Some are lofty. Some are small. Some I know I will never reach and that's okay. They are now more like daydreams and I think it's fun to daydream.

I make goals that I know are within my capabilities. Some days between work, kids, schedules, church callings, my husband's career, house remodeling, a family situation that nearly drives me to hit the hard stuff, and a baby's diaper changes, I feel stretched very thin. And those resolutions that I meant to get to are put on the back burner along with my hobbies.

So, I make a few goals, incorporate my hobbies in to them and I don't worry about it too much after that. I'm just a realist which I guess plays to my casual nature. Remember, I like Bart Simpson for a reason...

I also start working on these things every October and April - just in line with LDS General Conference. That's when I hear some great talks and it motivates me to start moving in the right direction again.

So this year's resolutions are - a continuance from October:
1. Reach my goal weight in May.

2. Organize the craft room/office and create a focal wall.

3. Try some dishes out of my Julia Child cookbook I received for Christmas a long time ago.

4. Organize better birthday parties for each of my kids. I tend to only throw a party for them once in a while. I guess this stems from my parents not making a big deal out of birthday parties and I am falling into that mindset. I don't want to do that anymore. They deserve to know the day they came into my life was a bright day and their presence makes our lives better.

5. Read more books. My ability to speed read came in handy when I used to devour books. I haven't taken the time to sit and do that.

6. Get back to my jogging/walking 2 miles a day. (I slack during winter.)

7. Start my house blog and another one yet to be named.

8. Play guitar with Lenny Kravitz. Ok, that is a daydream...

And when April comes, we'll see how I do!

How do you guys go about setting goals/resolutions?

Success and The Keys

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I taught the young women ages 12-18 at church about the ability to succeed and the keys to our success. Our discussion led us to finding out why we are so quick to underrate ourselves and why our attitudes about ourselves can hinder that success. Why, when someone compliments us, do we feel the need to reply with a negative remark? Why can't we just say, "thank you." It's not vain to accept a compliment and think to yourself, "I do look good today!" After all, we believe we were born in the image of God. Don't you think He did good work??

I also asked to whom they spoke with on a regular basis. One girl said, "Ourselves"

Everyone giggled.

I told her she was absolutely correct. Our internal dialogue is going on all day long. I know when I am working around the house and make a mistake, I'll say to myself, "That was a bonehead move, Laura." "Way to go, exlax." or "nice job, dufus."

They giggled again.

But it's true. We talk to ourselves (maybe you don't) or think about things all day long. The more you fill your mind with negative thoughts about yourself, the more you are limiting your success.

Doubt, insecurity, or fear of failure creep in and poof! there goes some of our talents that could have been and who knows what successes you could have had with those.

We do have to acknowledge our weaknesses so we can try to make them strong. And if there are things that we perceive as weaknesses which cannot be changed like foot size, height or even material wants (Hey, who wouldn't like a 2009 Mercedes SL65 AMG 604 HP Biturbo v-12 engine with 19 inch alloys??) then we need to let it go and focus our energies on what we can change. So, while I do like my narrow foot size, I know I'll never be 5'10" and I've given up on that car dream...for now.

Now I know that training your mind to develop a positive attitude isn't easy.

For some it is a constant struggle. I would never reduce to triviality the effects of depression on one's mind. I would never tell a person with depression to just get over it, have faith and you'll be healed. I think mood disorders are just as real as diabetes or cancer and should be treated just as aggressively. So for those whose struggles include depression, I understand that simplistic solutions for you may cause a spiritual isolation. Mood disorders are very real and should be dealt with professionally and with sensitivity.

I wanted the girls to see that success can happen and even at their young age, they can come to know this.

And there are keys to success.

We discussed these keys and I told them that they had the power, together with faith to do anything that they wanted. It was up to them to go for it.

When they know who they really are, they are better able to rely on their own strength and not be defined by what others think of them. They can also differentiate by what is real and what advertisers want to make them think is real. I told them not to wait until they are 30 to figure it out. It's okay to know this now. It's okay to study this out in their mind and try new things and be leaders now. I said that when they hang back, hoping for other people to speak up, all those others are waiting for someone to speak up too.

I guaranteed it.

Some of the best leaders in this country are the ones who had an idea and wanted to affect change somewhere and didn't let anyone hold them back.

Brother Raleigh, in a beautiful testimony, said there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his children. I reminded them of that and asked them to imagine their Heavenly Father saying that.

He did.

It is called The Atonement.

And no one want us to succeed in life more than Heavenly Father.

I swear I saw light bulbs over each of their lovely heads.

And I hope they saw a heart over mine. Because I love them.

Saturday, in preparation for the lesson, I went to the flea market and gathered all kinds of vintage skeleton keys. You know I love vintage and it doesn't take much arm twisting to get me to go to the flea! I tied each key with ribbon and gave one to each girl as a reminder that they hold the keys to their success.

The keys were all different shapes and sizes. All very sculptural and beautiful.

Each opens a door somewhere.

It's just up to us to find that door.

Thank heaven for friends, family and a loving God to cheer us on in our search.